Paleo

**This post, in edited form, will live at the top of my page under ‘Picky Eater’s Guide to Paleo**

One thing that’s really frustrating to me as a ‘non-expert’, is that it doesn’t seem like any of the actual experts can agree on what is a healthy way to eat. There are so many trendy, conflicting ‘diets’, and how are we to know which is right? Paleo people say we should eat like the cavemen. (I’m pretty sure cavemen didn’t have a very long lifespan, although who’s to say whether it was heart disease or wooly mammoth maulings that killed them off early). Then other people say nope, that’s not healthy to eliminate a macro-nutrient altogether. Other people say meat is unhealthy, eggs are unhealthy, eat this, eat that, eat nothing, eat everything! It’s so confusing.

So while I’ve titled my page the ‘picky eater’s guide to paleo’, I’m not necessarily advocating paleo as the best or healthiest diet. Because who the heck knows, really. Certainly not me. But, I’ve had recent paleo experience, and my ‘prior to paleo’ diet was the SAD (Standard American Diet) of sodas and junk. And although I’m not sure about the status of red meat, I do know that hot pockets and Coke are not my best choice.

I don’t keep to a strict paleo diet post-challenge, and do have some grains and dairy occasionally. I don’t know if that ruins my ketosis, or if that’s even a real thing.  But I do keep a mostly paleo diet because I feel healthier eating so many veggies, and I like meat. I’m a carnivore.

I know there are a thousand and one paleo blogs out there, and I think I’ve been to most of them.  But most of the sites I visited seemed to assume I had a pretty mature palate, and an unlimited budget to buy all sorts of specialty ingredients.  I don’t.  To either.  I have the palate of a preschooler, and the budget to match. I could list the veggies I like on one hand, and about the same amount of expendable dollars.

However, in doing ‘The Challenge”, I had to do paleo for 6 weeks. I gave it my best effort, and actually ended up finding quite a few recipes and meals that I liked!! And I feel so much healthier for it.

So, I thought maybe there were more people like me out there. Folks who are self-proclaimed ‘picky eaters’, don’t want to spend a bunch of money on car insurance weird ingredients, but would like to eat a little healthier. I will say, I did have to end up buying a few things I don’t normally use, like coconut aminos and almond flour. But by and large, I didn’t make anything that has a bunch of stuff you can’t use often.

I plan on listing some recipes up in the ‘PEGTP’ page that I’ve found are yummy, and maybe even some weekly meal plans, at some point. DISCLAIMER: none of these recipes are mine. I’m not a creator in the kitchen, just an instruction follower. These will just be recipes I’ve found here and here, and will give credit where I can.

Self Doubt

Social media is a funny thing.  It has a way of connecting us, of making the world feel a little bit smaller.  Anything we’re interested in, we can find others in the world who are doing the same things.  We can encourage, support, and connect.

But it has a dark side.  People feel like they can hide behind the veil of their screens and say anything they want, despite how hurtful it is.  People can write and post articles about whatever they want, despite how truthful it is.  And people can post tiny pictorial snippets of their lives, staged and filtered, despite how realistic it is.

These things are mostly direct effects of the internet.  People intentionally encourage and support.  They also intentionally hurt and distort.

But today, and many days, I’m struggling with more of a side effect of social media.  The side effect of comparison, which often causes discontent and discouragement.  Before the days of Facebook and Twitter (yes, there were days before Facebook and Twitter), you would meet people in the check-out line at the store, maybe wave to your neighbors on an evening stroll.  The opportunity to compare yourself to others was fairly limited.  But in current e-times, you can literally see behind everyone’s closed doors.  We are bombarded with pictures of strangers’ dinners, events with their kids, and vacations they’re taking.  We can see what they’re wearing, where they’re living, and how they’re getting around.  And if we’re not vigilant, that can often start to sow the seeds of discontent in our hearts.

Depending on the day and what I’m looking at, this can manifest itself in different ways.  Sometimes it makes me feel dissatisfied with my home.  Pinterest, anyone?  Man there’s some gorgeous houses there.  They’re so clean, and bright.  And clean.  I can’t take 2 steps in my house without stepping on a toy someone left about, or seeing some unknown food smear on the walls.  Things fall out of my cabinets as soon as I open the doors.  I don’t have my pantry staples in pretty containers with fancy vinyl labels.  And I don’t have beautifully coordinated (but not too matchy-matchy, just coordinated enough to look like they were randomly thrown together, but still happen to pull the whole room together) throw pillows on my couch with the little creases in the top so they all stand up straight.  My closets are a mess, and the bathrooms are in disarray.

Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m failing as a parent.  That stranger on Facebook was able to homeschool her kids, take them to the zoo, take them all to volunteer at a homeless shelter and then go home to handmake a perfectly organic vegan dinner.  Of course it’s all documented in what I’m sure is unstaged, unfiltered, candid photos of her with her 4 children, all with hair combed and adorably matching designer clothes, calmly sitting around the table doing school work, then feeding the camels, then handing out warm meals to the needy, and finally all eating Brussel sprouts and quinoa with smiles on their faces.  How can I compete with that??  I haven’t even showered today, nobody’s hair has been combed, one kid is running around naked, and they’ve eaten mac and cheese (from a box!) for 8 our of their last 10 meals.

Some days I find myself being dissatisfied with my job, car, or life choices.  Today it’s making me I’m allowing it to make me dissatisfied with my fitness progress. I follow a lot of ninjas on social media. I read about obstacle course races. And I watch videos about the best exercises to do to train for these events. Man, those people are strong.  They can lift their body weight with just a pinky finger.  They might as well be levitating.  As much as I see progress in my strength and physique from where I started just 2 months ago, when I see these videos I see how very far I am from whatever they’re doing, and all my progress seems to pale. Will I ever be able to do a flip from one salmon ladder to another? No. Will I ever be able to free rock climb a mountain with just my fingertips? Heck no. Do I have to be able to do these things in order to be an ANW? I don’t know. Will I ever be good enough? Will I be good enough in time? Will I ever accomplish my goals? Will I ever be satisfied with my progress? Will I ever be able to embrace and enjoy the process?  All the questions and doubt sometimes overwhelm me.

Whatever my interests are (and I’ve had a bunch), I can find dozens of other people interested in the same thing.  And to go along with it, I can find dozens of other examples to compare myself to.  And usually I feel like I come up short.  I feel like I’ll never be as good as, as talented as, as accomplished as, or as successful as.

Why do I have to be this way?  (For starters, I’m a perfectionist, incredibly competitive, super insecure, and very hard on myself).  Is this a personal issue I have?  Yes.  Am I alone in feeling this way?  I don’t think so.  I see an epidemic of people feeling like they have to push the envelope.  It used to be that we were just trying to keep up with the Jones’.  Now we feel like we have to keep up with the Kardashians, the ‘real’ housewives, the Photoshop masters, and the selfie experts.  We know that all those pictures are staged, filtered, and edited to look perfect.  We know that these fitness experts have been training for years.  So why do we think we have to compete?  There is no way I can compete and win with the images I see on social media.  (And I’m not even touching the subject of body image.  That’s a whole other monster in itself).

So what do I do with it?  When I’m feeling tired and weak, it makes me want to give up.  If I can’t ever get there, why even try?  If I set my bar compared to those standards, I will always come up short.  I will always feel like a failure.  Will I let it beat me?  Cause me to quit?  Or will I use it to fuel my fire, make me work harder, and inspire rather than intimidate.

So how do I combat it?  That’s a hard one.  You can try to stay away from social media, but that’s pretty difficult.  You can spend your life trying to actually compete, but that’s pretty exhausting.  Or you can you can embrace the beautiful mess that is your life and choose to be thankful for all you’re blessed with instead.  No, my house will never be on the cover of HGTV magazine.  For every one photo I have of my kids in matching outfits and all smiling, I have about 673 of them in some degree of disarray, and me sweating behind the camera and yelling threats if they don’t get their smiles on.  I’ll never feel as calm and put together as the other mom’s look.  And goodness knows my meals won’t ever be worthy of a Tasty video.  I’ll never drive what they drive, wear what they wear, or live where they live.

But you know what?  That’s okay.  I’m choosing joy.  And I’m choosing thankfulness and contentedness.  Daily.  I’m so thankful that I’m able to put a roof over my family, however messy it is.  I’m thankful I have a houseful of rowdy, noisy kids, however chaotic.  I’m thankful that I’m able to feed them, even if it is only PBJ and mac&cheese.  I’m thankful that I have a job to go to, and a vehicle to get me there.  I’m thankful that I have clothes to put on, and a family that loves me even if my socks aren’t matching or there’s a stain on my shirt.  I’m thankful for the laughter.  I’m thankful for health.  I’m thankful for my salvation.  And I’m thankful for my freedom.

I’m a hot mess most days.  I struggle with feeling like I’m not good enough, but desperately wanting to be.  I struggle with the fear that I will never accomplish my goals, or live with regret.  But that’s just going to have to be okay.  I’m going to have to keep dreaming big, pushing hard, and staying strong.

“Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”.  Norman Vincent Peale

The Conclusion of ‘The Challenge’

Week 5 was so uneventful I don’t even remember it.  Our vacation was brutal, so I think I was in a recovery fog most of the week.  I missed Monday’s workout but I’m pretty sure I made it to Wednesday and Friday.  I know we didn’t do the actual meal plan because we didn’t get our ducks that much in a row.  But I did stick to paleo.  I had a lot more salads than usual, but that was easy and I knew it followed the rules.

And then there was week 6!  The end!  On Friday we started with our ‘after’ pictures and our measurements.  Then we redid the WOD we did the first day to check for improvement.  It was AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 12 minutes: 5 burpees, 10 box jumps (step ups), 15 sit-ups.  Day 1 I did 4 full rounds + 5 burpess.  Today I did 6 full rounds.  So I felt good about that.

So let’s get to the results of this 6 week ‘New You’ CrossFit/Paleo challenge:

LOST:

  • 8.5 pounds
  • 6% body fat
  • 10 inches
  • Any more excuses

GAINED:

  • 1 pound of muscle
  • a new hatred appreciation for a burpee
  • Healthy eating habits
  • new friends
  • a jumpstart to my new healthy and active lifestyle
  • motivation to keep going

I know weight is just a number, your gravitational pull on the Earth and all that, but that’s the only thing I have any frame of reference for.  8 pounds of weight loss?  I know what that means.  Losing 6% body fat?  Not so much.  Is that a good amount?  Who knows.  But I’m happy with 8 pounds less of gravitational pull.

I will admit that I don’t see much difference in my before and after pictures.  Most of my visible change is in my abs, and I think that’s more due to my nutrition change and ninja workouts at home than anything.  And I’m still not putting up a picture of my core.  But this is what I can share, without thinking I might scare anyone.

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While I may not be a crossfitter for life, I am so thankful for this challenge.  I am thankful for the coaches that pushed and encouraged us along the way.  I really needed this catalyst to get moving and help with new eating habits.  Thank you everyone who had a hand in the challenge, and I’ll wear my FitnessLab CrossFit t-shirt with pride.

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Obstacle Warriors

So Tuesday of vacation week I went to Gauntlet Fitness, then Wednesday I went to Phamily Fun and Fitness.  Originally I had planned to go to Conquer Fitness in Tulsa on Thursday, but after I saw how spent I was, I decided not to embarrass myself further.

Having sick, crying babies on vacation for a week, we decided to head home a day early.  It turned 2 short driving days into 1 loooong driving day.  To break up the time a little bit and use up some energy, we made a pit stop at Obstacle Warrior Kids in Dallas on Sunday afternoon.

Now this place was completely different than the other gyms we went to.  It’s a chain place, and very crowded.  All the obstacles are for kids, and they have an employee stationed at almost every obstacle to wrangle help kids where needed.  They did have a small section that was supposed to be for the really small kids, but it was pretty much a free for all for kids aged 2-12ish.  There was a lot of chaos, and a lot of kids running, jumping, hanging and swinging from all directions.  But having said that, there was also a lot of padding and foam, and I felt my kids were very safe.

I had thought that this would have been my daughters favorite.  Afterall, it was all obstacles that were her size!  I’m not sure if it was the mass of other children, or if she was just off her game, but she started out very clingy.  She didn’t attack the course like I thought she would.  Her very bold and capable cousin met us there, so Jena did help Avery warm up a bit, but she still never got the full potential out of our visit.

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Getting a helping hand

Her brother, on the other hand, who has never felt fear in his life, attacked every part of the course.

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Now next door to Obstacle Warrior Kids, is the Obstacle Warriors for adults.  So since we were already there, I had to try it.  There were a whole lot of things I couldn’t even begin to do.  It was not a place to go to get one-on-one help, it seemed to be a place where you would go work on skills you already had the basics of, but just needed a little more practice.  As it was, I didn’t get too much use out of what they had, but I got a few things in.

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And then I had this magnificent fall on a spinning PVC bridge thingy.

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That left this magnificent bruise.

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Oh well, all in a day’s work when you’re trying to be a Ninja.

 

Phamily Fun & Fitness

So the day after Gauntlet Fitness I went to Phamily Fun & Fitness in Edmond, OK, run by the awesome Dominic Pham.  I was riding high after my first experience, but came crashing down to Earth pretty quickly.

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Don’t get me wrong, Dominic is great, and his facility is top-notch.  But wow, I had no strength left.  I didn’t really feel that sore, but as soon as I tried to jump on the monkey bars, I quickly realized I left all my muscles in Ardmore.  And my hands really hurt.  It was embarrassing how little I could do.

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Which is really disappointing, because there are a TON of obstacles built into this place.  Depending on which track you take, you could try SO many things.  It’s a genius of planning and engineering.

So I focused the majority of my time on balance, with some spider climbs and a little warped wall.  This time it was just my daughter and I, and Dom was so great with her.  He showed us how to do everything, and then he set up a whole obstacle course run for her to do.  She really blossomed there, and had no signs of the timidity or cautiousness that she usually does.  And she did that warped wall no less than 30 times.  He was such a great cheerleader for her, and I was so proud to see her determination.

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This gym had a different vibe than Gauntlet.  Where Gauntlet had more of a gritty warehouse type vibe, PF&F had a softer vibe.  And air conditioning.  Both places are equally awesome for different reasons.  We went to PF&F during an ‘open gym’ time, so there were a few other people there working on their skills.  We all cheered each other on, and it was fun to watch everyone trying stuff out for the first time, just like us.

Since I was pretty much relegated to balance, I gave it my all.  I practiced walking on a big wooden spool, then a smaller metal keg.  (Now I gotta get a spool and keg for the house).  Then I worked on transitioning between the 2.  After I got the hang of that, I practiced walking sideways down a PVC while trying to keep the pipe still.  And then finally transitioning between all 3.  By the end, I had actually gotten pretty good at it.  So while I was super bummed I couldn’t hang or swing, I was glad to see some improvement in myself.

At the end of the spool lane, there was a vertical spider wall.  I got to practice walking the spool to the end, then jumping off of it onto the spider wall, then moving up that to climb over the top of the wall.  It was tricky, but so much fun.

One new experience I had here was fear, and I’m not sure why.  I think maybe I was doing things a little bit more vertical than the day before?  But I really got a bit scared on a few of the things I was doing, and I could picture myself crashing down and shattering all my bones.  I’m sure I was actually pretty safe (beyond the innate danger of doing all these things in general, you do have to sign a waiver after all), and I don’t want to imply at all that Dominic has an unsafe facility.  I just mention this because for the first time I realized the mental aspect of the obstacles.  It’s kind of like when I did a box jump at CrossFit for the first time.  I had the ability to jump that high, but there was the mental aspect of it.  You just have to fully commit and do it.  You can’t doubt yourself, and you can’t bail out at the last-minute.  That’s how you lose shins.

And I realized how important it was to learn how to safely fail.  What’s the best way to get down the warped wall if you can’t get up and over?  What’s the best way to come down off a spool if you can’t walk it to the end?  What’s the safest way to land from a high jump?  All things I’m going to have to learn.  And Dominic even said that once I start getting better at obstacles, I need to start making mistakes on purpose so that I can learn to be safe, and learn what to do in a controlled environment in case I ever get into trouble on an obstacle.  So that was definitely a valuable lesson to learn.  Fully commit to an obstacle, but also know how to fail safely.  There’s probably a really good life lesson in there somewhere, too.

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Thanks Dominic for a great experience!!

 

I DID MY FIRST PULL-UP!!!

I’m interrupting my story line here to bring you a real time update.  I DID MY FIRST PULL-UP!  I think I probably ruined the dramatic surprise with the title of the post, but I’M SO EXCITED!

I keep a pull-up bar in the doorway between my bedroom and bathroom, so I pass under it many times a day.  I don’t use it every time I walk past, but several.  It’s so nice to have it so accessible.  It gets so much more use than if I had to go out in the garage or somewhere else I had make a concerted effort to get to.  I am lazy at heart, after all.

I also have my gymnastics rings hanging from the pull-up bar.  I have to physically touch them every time I go through the doorway.  It makes it very easy to just take a minute to do some inverted rows several times a day.

So last night as I was about to get ready for bed, I attempted a pull-up, as I do fairly often.  Up until then, I hadn’t been able to get past 90 degrees.  But last night I just kept going all the way up!  I came down to the ground and turned in shock to look at my husband, who had followed me in the room….AND HE WASN’T LOOKING!  He missed the whole thing.  He says he saw me out of the corner of his eye, but I’m not buying it.  So then I tried to do another one so he could video it (as any normal person would do), and I couldn’t get alllll the way up.  Almost.  But then I didn’t like the way the video looked so I tried to do another one for a new video, and got up even less.  Sigh.  Then I tried this morning when I got out of bed and got close, but not all the way.  So if a tree falls in the forest I did a pull-up, but nobody saw, and I couldn’t do it again, did it really happen?  I say yes!

Oh well.  It was a brief glimmer of hope.  A sign I’m getting stronger.  And while there’s no film or video proof, and I haven’t as of yet been able to replicate it, my first one is in the books.  My goal was Sept 1 and I hit it Aug 13!  Now to be able to do it again.  And then do 2 in a row.  Then 3.  You get the picture.

Although now that I’m thinking about it, is it supposed to be a dead hang pull-up to count?  Is that how the real world counts pull-ups?  Hmmm….

Gauntlet Fitness

Gauntlet Fitness in Ardmore, OK was the first ninja gym I had ever been to, and the first one we hit on the trip.  Shawn and Ashley Mason own it, and I had a private training session with Shawn.  I basically told him that I wanted to be a ninja warrior (and he didn’t laugh at me!), and that I had zero experience, but that I wanted an ‘intro to obstacles’ type session.  It.was.awesome.

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Coming in to this trip I had zero expectations about what I could actually do, but my goal for visiting these gyms was to just get exposure to as many obstacles as possible.  And since they weren’t local, if I totally made a fool of myself, I wouldn’t ever have to see them again.  Win/win.

One of the first things he asked me was how many pull-ups I could do.  I had been dreading this question and kind of cringed when I said ‘zero’.  But he didn’t even bat an eye!  After a warm-up, he had me do a few things so he could see where my starting point was.  He had a row of hanging rings and told me to see how far I could get.  I don’t know how many rings it was.  In reality, probably a dozen, but it felt like about 100.  It was really hard, but I was NOT going to fall off those rings.  I was going to get all the way across if it killed me.  I did not want to start off this session with him thinking we were both wasting our time.  And I did it!  I willed myself across!  I was so proud of myself, and he seemed impressed.  Whether or not he was just being nice, I don’t know, but it was effective.  It gave me a big boost for the rest of the session.

Then we went to the trapeze, and he taught me how to swing.  I couldn’t make my legs get as high as they’re supposed to, but I learned what to aim for.

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I was also able to try jumping into a spider wall, climbing a rope, and swinging from cannonballs, among other things.

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Yes, I am holding on for dear life. as a matter of fact.  If you look in the back of this picture, you can see the row of rings I mentioned.  They were different heights and everything!  Although it doesn’t look like a dozen from this angle…

And my very first warped wall!

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His gym has a really cool vibe.  Gritty.  And I always felt very safe.  He had lots of mats to put underneath me, and was always right there coaching me about correct technique and a safe way to ‘fail’ when I need to.

About half way through he said, ‘Let me see your hands, is it time for balance?’

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It was time for balance.  But I felt like a legit ninja with gnarly hands!  I realize now that this endeavor of mine will not be consistent with a future in hand modeling.  Sigh.

So we practiced a bunch of balance obstacles.  I’m gonna load up on spare 2×4’s and PVC pipes.  The pipe was pretty hard, but so much fun!

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Shawn was so encouraging.  Such a great coach and a great cheerleader.  He trains a lot of the top obstacle athletes, and has such a great facility.  If you’re ever anywhere close to Ardmore, you absolutely have to check it out.

After I was done, he let the kids try some stuff out.  My daughter, who is also a ninja wannabe, (and way stronger than me) but pretty timid and cautious, did great.

My 3 year old, who doesn’t have a cautious bone in his body, also did great.  The look on his face in this picture cracks me up.  My brother was there next to him, but he looks a little concerned.

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But I promise he had fun.

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I left Gauntlet Fitness feeling like a million bucks.  No, I couldn’t do all the obstacles.  But I could do way more than I thought I could.  I was even more hooked then before.  And he gave me a training regimen to do several times a day to gain upper body strength and get my pull-ups.  We made a deal that when I could do 10 pull-ups, I would drive back to OK for some more training.  He realistically estimated 1.5-2 months until I get my first one, if I put in all the work.  I don’t like to be mediocre, so I’m shooting for 1 month.  I just typed it out loud, so there you go!  Sept 1 for my first pull-up!!

 

Vacation Cheating or Week 4 of the ‘Challenge’

So I’d been on my paleo diet for 3 weeks now.  And I’d been good about not ‘cheating’ because 1, I want the best results I can get.  I want to give it my full effort, so that if things don’t turn out as well as I’m hoping, I won’t wonder if I could have had better results had I done better on the diet.  And 2, I knew I was going on vacation during week 4, and I knew I would cheat on it, so I figured if I had done really good on my diet so far, I’d have less guilt about it.

Day 1 of our vacation, and man did I have a good lunch. We stopped in Waco, TX at Magnolia Market.

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I’m not sure there are any humans left on the planet that haven’t heard of Chip and Joanna Gaines, but if for some reason they have eluded you so far, they’re a super lovable (almost annoyingly so) couple who has a show on HGTV, and a real estate company, and a line of furniture, and a B&B (among other things) and they’re taking over the world.  And they have created this really adorable ‘campus’, that has a home decor store, a bakery, and a food truck garden (hence my amazing lunch).  They also have a huge Astroturf yard for the kids (and kids at heart) to run around and play ball, and play giant jenga, and such.
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They also have umbrellas to borrow, which was nice since it was about 300 degrees outside.  Thankfully the line to get into the bakery was very long, and our time was short, so I wasn’t tempted to eat those calories.  But I did splurge on a ‘gourmet grilled cheese’. And a mango sweet tea. But I got a watermelon mint salad on the side, so that’s better than fries, right? Right???!

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I did pack a lot of our food for this trip. I froze a bunch of spinach and kale smoothies and made paleo pumpkin muffins for breakfasts. Got some good beef jerky and put together some paleo trail mix for snacks, and baked and froze a bunch of different flavored chicken breasts for lunches and dinners.  All the hotels we stayed at had a fridge and microwave, so we planned to go grocery shopping for salad fixings. So see? I’m trying to be good!

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I did end up eating worse than I planned on.  But I ate better than I normally would on a vacay.  The babies were sick and fussy the entire trip, and I was considering throwing in the towel and coming home just about every moment of the trip.  So there were a few meals where I just didn’t have the energy to make a good decision.

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And then there was Pioneer Woman’s Mercantile where I just didn’t want to make a good decision.  We did go grocery shopping for greens, and I had quite a few chicken salads.  So the week wasn’t a total loss, but not as healthy as I had played it out in my head.

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As far as the workouts go, I had plans to stop in to 3 or 4 ninja gyms along the way.  They all deserve their own post, so stay tuned for those.

 

Week 3 of the ‘Challenge’

SUCKED!

Week 3 was a really hard week.

It actually had a bright spot at the beginning.  Monday morning I did my first box jump (which I think is totally more mental than physical, btw), and I was able to do 6 pull-ups with resistance band help.

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But then it all went downhill from there.

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I was volunteering at vacation bible school in the mornings, I had my crossfit workouts, my extra ‘ninja’ workouts, my mom was here, and I was trying to plan for our vacation the following week.  There was a lot going on, and I was exhausted.

When I get exhausted I get emotional.  Plus, it turns out I was brewing germs, and hormones.  So by mid-week I was about due for a come apart.  And man, did I come apart.  I was having a hard time keeping up with my ninja workout, and I was feeling like a failure.  I was stressed about our trip.  My body was hungry, and sore, and shutting down.  And my willpower was being tested. hard.

When I started paleo, I had to unfollow all food pages from Facebook.  Tasty?  Gone.  Pioneer Woman?  Unfollow.  I hated to see them go, but it was just too hard to see all that delicious food I couldn’t eat.  I’m not that strong.  I even had to put blinders on when I was driving around town to try and not see all the yummy fast food that.is.everywhere.  Junky stuff I don’t even normally like was starting to make my mouth water.

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While my mom was here, I stuck to my paleo meal plan, so she ate paleo right along with us. While a bit skeptical, she’s a great supporter and sucked it up.  (And lost 3 lbs!) However, she’s also got a sweet tooth and a soft spot for her grandkids. So she went out to the store and got some very NOT paleo stuff for them. Frozen pizza, animal crackers, cheese cubes.  Stuff I normally wouldn’t bat an eye at.

I don’t think my mom fully understood how hard it was for me to stick to the diet and fight the cravings.  We had completely removed 99% of junk.  We only kept a couple things for the kids: pbj, cheerios, etc.  I knew if it was here I would eat it.  So on top of all the other things going on, I had this new junk food in the house that looked really good.  Much better than it would have 3 weeks prior.  And while she did a really good job trying to keep it out of sight, I could feel it in the house.  It whispered to me.

So by about Wednesday, I had a meltdown.

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Sobbing to my hubby about being a failure, have to do my workout, being so tired, want to eat junk, rambling on and on.  He hugged me, assured me I was being too hard on myself, and put me to bed.  It was still light outside it was so early.  He took away my list of workouts, and told me I had to take a day or two off.  (He doesn’t know this, but I actually slipped out of bed to finish that one.last.set. of dips.  Sorry babe).  But then I went to sleep and slept all night.  It was glorious.  Friday morning I woke up sick, had to miss the last day of vbs, had to miss work, had to miss Crossfit.  It’s interesting how your body will shut you down when it feels like you’re getting overextended.  I had a very busy Friday scheduled and I ended up being able to do none of it.

Not a great week.

PS, can you tell I learned how to insert a gif?  Too much??

Week 2 of the ‘Challenge’

Don’t have much to report for Week 2.  It started out really well.  The first couple days I felt great, and then I tanked around the middle.  Thursday was really hard and I didn’t feel good.  But my mom came into town Saturday morning, and I felt like a million bucks when I got up and drove to the airport.  I’m sure there’s some sort of scientific explanation about what my body was going through.  Who knows?  But man, I had no idea what was coming…