Week 3 was a really hard week.
It actually had a bright spot at the beginning. Monday morning I did my first box jump (which I think is totally more mental than physical, btw), and I was able to do 6 pull-ups with resistance band help.
But then it all went downhill from there.
I was volunteering at vacation bible school in the mornings, I had my crossfit workouts, my extra ‘ninja’ workouts, my mom was here, and I was trying to plan for our vacation the following week. There was a lot going on, and I was exhausted.
When I get exhausted I get emotional. Plus, it turns out I was brewing germs, and hormones. So by mid-week I was about due for a come apart. And man, did I come apart. I was having a hard time keeping up with my ninja workout, and I was feeling like a failure. I was stressed about our trip. My body was hungry, and sore, and shutting down. And my willpower was being tested. hard.
When I started paleo, I had to unfollow all food pages from Facebook. Tasty? Gone. Pioneer Woman? Unfollow. I hated to see them go, but it was just too hard to see all that delicious food I couldn’t eat. I’m not that strong. I even had to put blinders on when I was driving around town to try and not see all the yummy fast food that.is.everywhere. Junky stuff I don’t even normally like was starting to make my mouth water.
While my mom was here, I stuck to my paleo meal plan, so she ate paleo right along with us. While a bit skeptical, she’s a great supporter and sucked it up. (And lost 3 lbs!) However, she’s also got a sweet tooth and a soft spot for her grandkids. So she went out to the store and got some very NOT paleo stuff for them. Frozen pizza, animal crackers, cheese cubes. Stuff I normally wouldn’t bat an eye at.
I don’t think my mom fully understood how hard it was for me to stick to the diet and fight the cravings. We had completely removed 99% of junk. We only kept a couple things for the kids: pbj, cheerios, etc. I knew if it was here I would eat it. So on top of all the other things going on, I had this new junk food in the house that looked really good. Much better than it would have 3 weeks prior. And while she did a really good job trying to keep it out of sight, I could feel it in the house. It whispered to me.
So by about Wednesday, I had a meltdown.
Sobbing to my hubby about being a failure, have to do my workout, being so tired, want to eat junk, rambling on and on. He hugged me, assured me I was being too hard on myself, and put me to bed. It was still light outside it was so early. He took away my list of workouts, and told me I had to take a day or two off. (He doesn’t know this, but I actually slipped out of bed to finish that one.last.set. of dips. Sorry babe). But then I went to sleep and slept all night. It was glorious. Friday morning I woke up sick, had to miss the last day of vbs, had to miss work, had to miss Crossfit. It’s interesting how your body will shut you down when it feels like you’re getting overextended. I had a very busy Friday scheduled and I ended up being able to do none of it.
Not a great week.
PS, can you tell I learned how to insert a gif? Too much??